If Santa’s Sleigh Had Wheels

Santa Claus has the toughest job in the world: to bring gifts to children (and some adults) throughout the world in a single night. Too bad all he has is a flying sleigh pulled by reindeers. Sure, sleighs are practical in the harsh North Pole. But could Santa do better with another means of transportation? We thought we’d help him make a choice and splurge on a new set of wheels for next year’s Christmas. Here’s what we think he needs:

Storage Space

There are 1.9 billion children in the world, and almost every one of them expects to get something from Santa. We think Santa’s next ride must be commodious for both his belly and the sack of presents. The Audi RS6 Avant’s station wagon body style can give Santa 1,680 litres of space for the gifts he bears. You can probably fill a few more RC planes in a Mercedes-Benz E63 estate, but the Audi is faster. 600PS of power and 800Nm of torque is much more than Santa is used to.

Speed and Power

Santa can only do so much with reindeer power. In 2019, we’ve got torquey diesels, twin-turbo V8s, and thousand-Nm electric motors that can lug more weight than any practical combination of reindeer. 0-100kmph may not matter on real-world roads for regular people. But for Santa, any time saved is extra time that can be spent eating cookies with milk. That’s why he needs a Tesla Cybertruck. Whether Santa is flying in the sky or plying the road, the Cybertruck looks like anything but an object from Earth. We understand that Santa isn’t merely a public servant and needs some street cred when he travels. A Tesla Truck fits the description.

Go Anywhere Ability

Get latest updates on
the automobile community

Login Now

If last-minute connectivity is the question, the Ford F-150 Raptor can take Santa through snow, sand or muck. The pickup truck has a 3.5-litre V6 which makes 450PS and 691Nm of torque. The only problem with the Raptor is probably its exhaust sound which could wake up small children on a quiet night.

Long Range

Animals can get tired. They also need to eat and defecate. None of these issues plague the Jaguar XF diesel, which can go nearly 1200km on a single tank. And when Santa runs out of fuel, he can fill up at any one of the petrol pumps littered across the world. No whims and no smells. Santa, are you listening?

Festive Spirit

Santa’s vehicle of choice must celebrate Christmas. Consider the rear lights of the Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato. Don’t they remind you of Christmas? Doesn’t its matronly British Racing Green paintwork remind you of a Christmas tree? We feel like the guy who gives us all gifts deserves his own, and this is it. Estate? No, this is the same practical body style, but the Zagato is a shooting brake. Its creamy smooth 6.0-litre V12 makes 580PS and 630Nm of torque, enough to dash from a chimney top to 100kmph in 3.5 seconds.

We think Santa Claus needs all the help he can get with his noble task this Christmas. What suggestions would you give Santa for his annual world tour?